Twenty Thousand Views
by Random Guise
Summary: A one-shot from the 1991 movie "Defending Your Life". Bob Diamond gets an unusual case from his normal defense of the recently departed. This is to celebrate the fact I just got my 20,000th view for my stories. I don't own these characters, and I'm still pretty much alive. Bonus point for figuring out who the dead guy is.


**A/N: Takes place during the movie "Defending Your Life".**

* * *

Twenty Thousand Views

"Hello James, I hope you had a good nap. I'm Bob Diamond and you can think of me as your lawyer. I'm sure you're wondering why you're here" the man said as he entered the room.

The man seated in front of the desk ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah. Yesterday I was minding my own business, taking a nice drive in my new car then SMASH! and I found myself here. Is this heaven, man?"

"Not exactly, James. You died, that I can assure you. But this is kind of like a way station between lives we call Judgement City; we're here to figure out where you're going next and I'm representing you."

"Going? Where's to go, man? I'm dead...finished...kaput. Ain't nowhere to go now, pops" James said as he sat back in his chair. The usual delay for new arrivals to get over the shock of their passing seemed absent on this one.

"Oh, that's not true. We've got options."

"Options? Crazy."

"It's not crazy at all! Oh, wait, that's one of those words they use now. I assure you James, you're going to be busy for some time although time works a little differently here. Most of the people come here and we find out if they've managed to overcome their fear; it's a big universe out there and it would be careless of us to let people go running out into it unless they were prepared for the experience.

"Fear? I ain't afraid of nothin'."

Bob reviewed his notes. "That's what our records say too - except maybe for spiders."

"I ain't afraid of Spyders either. I even own one. Used to, anyway."

"Maybe it's a typo" Bob said, skipping ahead. "Ah, I see the problem now. No, fear isn't your problem. No, it looks like what you lack is empathy. You never really connected with anyone in your life; someone to really show how much you can care for another."

"Hey, I was busy...my job kept me on the go a lot. Besides, I'm only...WAS only...twenty-four."

"Yes, I see that in your file. Hmmm. Let me make a call and see what we can do, okay? I'll just be a few minutes." Bob walked out the door and immediately returned.

"Sorry it took so long, I was put on hold an hour" he chuckled as he sat behind the desk again.

"Man, I didn't even have time to blink while you were gone."

"See, I told you time works differently around here. I talked with the council, and I managed to convince them to try something."

"Like, what do I have to do?"

"We're going to give you some training while you're here. Normally after we review someone's case they either just go on to the next level or go back and try again in another life. But you're a special case - I have to say I envy you."

"Envy a dead guy, huh? Sure you're smart enough to be a lawyer?"

Bob let the comment pass; a hundred years ago it might have been different. "I envy you for the opportunity. In your room you've got a monitor - a TV, if you will. It's going to play some of the highlights of somebody's life and your job is to watch it."

"Dullsville. How long do I have to watch?"

"Not much; every day of the person's life is condensed into one hour, kind of like a greatest hits collection. You just have to watch a little bit of every hour and we won't even start the show until the person is twelve and not until you get back to your room. At the end I'll ask you a few questions about the person to see if you've learned about them as a human being. I want you to really get to know them like a friend. Believe me, get interested and the time will fly just like that" he said as he snapped his fingers.

"Sounds easy; I guess I can pass that test. What if I have to sleep again?" Jim asked.

"You'll find that you won't need to sleep here after the first night; sleeping is for living people. You don't even have to eat if you don't want, but most people still enjoy it! We set things up to look like back on Earth just to help you adjust to the shock of being dead. If you want to go bowling, we've got that too."

"Can I smoke?"

Bob closed his eyes and shuddered. "We don't allow that here."

"Why? If you're all dead, it can't hurt."

"Because they stink, that's why. Rules are rules, after all."

"Do you have a place a guy can race?" Jim asked.

"We've talked about putting a track in, but you wouldn't believe the paperwork involved and getting everyone agreed on what kind. Now I'd like you to report to your room and start your assignment; the TV will come on when you enter. You don't have to watch each whole hour; just a part of each. If you want to catch the first part of an hour, then take a break and come back toward the last part of the next hour that will give you almost two hours of free time to explore. And you can miss an hour here or there."

"Are you going to check up on me?"

"Check up on you? Of course not! We're all adults here, and I've got enough other cases to take care of right now. I'll get a notification when the program you're watching is over and we'll see each other after that." Standing, Bob reached out to shake hands and Jim accepted hesitantly. Taking his other hand, he ushered Jim out of the office and off on his way to the apartments.

...

"Hello James, I trust you've gotten used to being here by now?" Bob asked when his visitor reported the office and sat in the guest chair.

"Yeah man, it's a gas. I can eat and never get full, I can stay awake all I want and never get sleepy, and the people I talked to up here! You know you got some racing drivers up here? I was talking with this Vukovich guy about Indy and..."

"Yes, there are as many stories up here as people" Bob interrupted "which brings me to my point: your assignment. How did it go?"

"Well," James hedged "it wasn't nearly as interesting. When I was talking to a motorcycle racer he..."

"James, please. Your subject? Let's start off easy: What was his name?"

"Uh, Clyde something...Sanders, yeah that was it; Clyde Sanders."

"What can you tell me about Clyde?"

"Well, he was a guy. He grew up in a big city, I think it was Chicago. He wanted to be a farmer, he had a farm and he, like died, man."

"Is that all? You must have seen more than that!"

"Well, like I said, it was pretty dullsville. I went out a few times and missed some parts. Guess what? I bowl as bad as I did on Earth!"

"Of course; this isn't heaven."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I slept for a while and when I woke up he was all grown up."

Bob shook his head. "It was an easy assignment. What about his family?"

"He musta got married I think, there was a woman there named...Donna. No, Deanna. And he had at least one kid."

"Anything else?" Bob sighed.

"Not much, man. I told you, I found some really interesting people to talk to that loved racing as much as me so I kinda lost track of that time thing."

"Let's go over a few of the things you missed" Bob said as he looked over a sheet. "Clyde Sanders had a full life, and although he never raced cars or motorcycles he had his own share of excitement. He broke his arm playing football when he was fifteen, broke his heart when he was nineteen, and...oh, you'll love this...pulled somebody out of a flash flood when he was twenty-two."

"I don't remember that part."

"I don't doubt it. That person he rescued turned out to be the girl that he married a year later. THREE children by the way, boring stuff like buying a farm and developing a new strain of wheat, and I'm sure that him being chosen Man of the Year by his town's city council was just plain dull. Helped build a church, was a PTA president, and did you know he raced airplanes?"

"Airplanes? Really?" Jim brightened.

"No, he didn't but you wouldn't know the difference." Bob put down the paper. "You see Jim, that's the problem. Life isn't always exciting, but it's real and so are the other people in it. It's all very fine when they can confidently go out and conquer the world because they aren't held back by fear, but what kind of world is it that has no compassion for your fellow being? That's what we're trying to develop here. Even something that isn't particularly interesting to you can be really important to someone else."

Jim squirmed a little. "I tried. I did watch the end where he died. Man, a lot of people were at his funeral."

"A quarter of his small town I'm told, and he knew most of them by name because he KNEW them and they knew him."

"Heavy, man. I wonder how many were at my funeral."

"A lot more, but you didn't know most of them. That's the point, and it's important. When you go back into your next life, you won't remember your time up here but you'll carry over some stuff on the inside and that's what helps everyone grow as a being; it's not if you can set the fastest lap time in your qualifying heat."

"Hey dad, you picked up the lingo."

"I'm trying, thank you for noticing. So out of twenty thousand views in total hours that were shown you actually managed to watch a part of...a little over twelve thousand. I'm disappointed, but that's what we used to call life. Anyway, you'll be heading back to try again in another life. We wish you the best, Jim, and we'll see you when you get back."

"When I die again."

"When you die again."

"Right, well thanks I guess" Jim said as he stood and shook hands. "Can I wear a leather jacket going back?"

"Sorry, topas only. It wouldn't fit you when you were reborn anyway."

"But I'd look good all the way there!"

The End

* * *

**A/N: This is a rather roundabout way of celebrating my 20,000th view on my stories. A nice round number (since I missed 10K) that I thought I'd work into the story. For those who didn't break out the calculator, that made Clyde about 66 when he died and Jim would have spent over 800 days watching the monitor. But of course time doesn't quite work normally there...**


End file.
